You may not know what the phrase `energy vampire’ means exactly, but you certainly have a few friends, co-workers or relatives, who are as relentless as Dracula when it comes to sucking you dry of energy, and leaving you feeling emotionally exhausted after every interaction with them.
They are self-obsessed, narcissistic, needy people who invade your personal space and feed off your resource of emotional and psychic energy, whether you permit it or not. As they cannot empathize with others, they don’t care how you feel, and this makes them a very destructive force to reckon with.
Energy vampires have a deep, negative impact on most people. But highly sensitive and sympathetic individuals are their prime targets. What’s more, if you are a kind-hearted `giver’ by nature, you possibly attract a whole lot of energy vampires to yourself because you’re easy prey.
It is easy to recognize the emotional vampires in your social circle because you feel deeply unsettled and depressed after you have been around them. You balk at the thought of taking their phone calls or have them come visit because you know you will feel inexplicably sad and exhausted after spending time with them. And yet, you cannot say no, or cut them off entirely, because they’re will power is so much stronger than yours.
Sounds creepy, I know, but energy vampires are everywhere – among children too. And more than adults, it is the children who need to be protected from energy vampires in their school or play group because they are too immature to understand what is going on and be able to defend themselves.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to make sure that your kids aren’t losing their self-esteem and natural, happy optimism because an energy vampire has befriended them. You have to stay vigilant about such relationships and step in with defensive tools before your kids’ priorities, goals and self-determination skills are severely influenced.
Often times, children become slaves to energy vampire `leaders’, and develop subservient or passive-aggressive traits because they are afraid to go against the `boss’. They devalue their own worthiness and wish to become like the energy vampire because that child seems cool, strong, opinionated and very much in control.
Teach your children to protect themselves against such kids now, and you will be teaching them a skill that will continue to protect them later on in adult life. We have some useful tips and suggestions about dealing with energy vampires that you will find helpful:
4 Types Of Child Energy Vampires
# 1: Dominator Vampire
Children with traits of dominating vampirism become `leaders’ of their peers, and as such, the ones you should be most wary of. They can influence your children into bad habits and plant seeds of negative beliefs in their young minds.
# 2: Narcissist Vampire
Sharing many similar traits as the Dominator, the Narcissist Vampires set unhealthy examples among other children by using their innate charm. They are hard to ignore, and impossible to resist when they choose to focus on a target who will feed their narcissism, do their bidding and feel grateful for having such a superior `friend’.
# 3: Judgemental Vampires
These kids are usually the bullies of the playground. They pick on others, pointing out their weaknesses and making fun of them because the action makes them feel better about themselves. Judgemental vampires can severely hurt other children and cause disempowering beliefs to take root in the subconscious mind. For example, a child who is publicly humiliated for being fat or being poor will probably hold that idea as a truth for the rest of their lives.
# 4: Martyr Vampire
Kids with Martyr Vampire traits are experts at emotional blackmail. They `guilt’ other children into being their friends, and then fill their minds with their own beliefs of self-pity and victimization that absolves them of all responsibilities for their own actions.
7 Signs Of An Energy Attack On Children
• Physical and mental tiredness • Refusal to engage in common social activities • Temporary withdrawal from favorite hobbies • Preoccupation and unwillingness to share the problem • Desire to be alone • Extreme guardedness when discussing the energy vampire friend • Looking disturbed or unsettled, right before meeting the friend
5 Defensive Steps Against Energy Vampires
# 1: Awareness
It is up to parents to decide how to explain energy vampirism to kids. The use of the term `vampire’ is not advisable for obvious reasons. Explain the phenomenon instead, from your children’s perspective, as a kind of bullying that can be battled with confidence, respect and awareness. Make sure it is understood that the `bully’ in question is not doing this deliberately.
# 2: Centering
Often times, it is impossible for your children to avoid the vampire bully in question (a schoolmate for example). In such cases, prepare them with centering exercises beforehand. The I AM affirmations can be a huge help to put their hearts in a place of confidence. Encourage them to do deep belly breathing while in the company of the bully. This will naturally reduce anxiety levels and help them cope.
# 3: Neutralizing
Taking a vampire bully head-on isn’t the best idea. There is no point challenging them for doing something they are possibly not even aware of. The most effective action is to stay neutral. Find safety in the knowledge of what is really happening and exercise discipline on oneself to not rise to the bait or be affected negatively.
# 4: White Light Bubble
Encourage your kids to visualize a bubble of white light surrounding them whenever they feel under attack or anxious or fearful. This bubble is impenetrable and nobody can hurt them while they are inside their imaginary, safety bubble. With practice, they will come to believe in the powers of the white light bubble and this in turn will help negative emotions from spiraling out of control.
# 5: Purging
The process of purging has been explained here. By practicing purging, children can cut cords of negative associations and negative thinking in a way that they seem to understand very well. Try it.